Rules of the Air
This supposedly appeared in the June (2000?) issue of Australian
- Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
- If you push the stick forward, the houses get
bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That
is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back,
then they get bigger again.
- Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
- The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
- The propeller is just a big fan in front of the
plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can
actually watch the pilot start sweating.
- A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk
away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use
the plane again.
- You know you've landed with the wheels up if it
takes full power to taxi to the ramp.
- Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps
talking about might be another airplane going in the
opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that
mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
- Always try to keep the number of landings you make
equal to the number of take offs you've made.
- In the ongoing battle between objects made of
aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground
going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.
- It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going
forward as much as possible.
- Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the
earth repels them.