Illusory Search for Reality

I am embarked on a quest
my weapons are
numbers, science, reading
questioning, obsessing

My ultimate goal, my holy grail
having all the answers
being admired, respected, right
being loved, in spite of the darkness inside

Reality keeps shifting right under my nose
is that a smell of mock orange?
reality is not truth
is truth real?

Love, compassion, humility
do not show up on the telescope
solid objects of my affection
may be gone tomorrow

Searching for the illusion of reality
goes on and on
seemingly important
but the quest is more important than the goal