here I am feeling my feelings an afternoon of fear a midday of indecision an hour of peace many minutes of lust desire for what is not lost in thought needing to explore a season of hunger ended by dinner frequent tension a need to control an occasional love for myself not knowing what tomorrow will bring the time of loneliness and abandonment forgetting all my friends looking at the clock as if it ruled my life knowing time shrinks and expands as needed and inexorably