Your name

I have let you go completely
there is no you left in me
so it is totally unfair
your name still kills me

smart and clever you were
and so self-destructive
until one day I awoke
and played a game of my own

I learned to fly and be free
and to love the one that is me
to be where smiles are easy
in a place inside me that is good

And now as I let go of what I craved most
and watch it come back to me unbidden
I don't now why your shadow is before me
fare the well!