Love is a spice

Love is a spice like no other
Love is the most dangerous
  weapon on the planet
Love is what makes
  life worth living

Love is the spice
that blissfully burns
as it fills
and the food doesn't matter

Love can turn life
upside down
reverse priorities
for such a short spell

Love is what I need to do
to myself
keep looking in the mirror
and loving my eyes

yet mutual love with another
as impossible as it can be
is such a powerful drug
the mere thought overwhelms

it is so wonderful to be alone
so stunning to feel liked
by someone I might like
only the music understands

chase or run away
the only options I see
both so wrong
what else can one do?

the butterfly of my obsession
yesterday landed on this flower
I wonder how the flower

alone in a stormy see
with the island a mirage
or a deadly shoal
can only go with the wind

If I don't love myself
there is no loving others
it is just the spice
without the sustenance

Yet here is the ultimate
in me
that escapes control
by uncertainty and confusion

the speed makes me suspicious
because I'm such a turtle
and I never change my mind
more than twice a second

choosing to let
whatever will be will be
is a good practice
especially when I can't

and then the real world
pops the bubble
by reminding me
it still exists

mysteries large and small
weather and neighbors
daily events I don't expect
and don't wish to push or resist
making peace with love
letting it flow like the tides
now on, now off, now easy
not the master, not the servant
just letting the moment bring
the birdsong
the plant that I delight in
and the occasional tsunami of love
with its unknown consequences
some always good
some always bad
most of them unforeseeable
except to know
I am human
and love is part of who I am

love and choice
make a strange mix
with lust and thinking
bake for an hour or a day
or a week or a month
or a year or a lifetime
and that is not something I choose

so staying here and now
and trusting that I will
do and know
what I need to do and know
so for now I can choose
to love myself
or do without for now

the year of the bull